As we know, shopping rules allow us to "know before we go" thereby avoiding "Buyer's Remorse". It's no different in shopping for a relationship. Our list of rules can protect you from an emotional Hiroshima, so listen up:
2. DEVELOP A SHOPPING STRATEGY. How will you shop? Where will you shop? Are you prepared to buy or are you just browsing? What will you do if you want to return the "merchandise" or develop Buyer's Remorse? Shorten your learning curve by knowing your plan ahead of time. Set your goals and stick to them. Avoid settling for less.
Keith, an attorney was a great strategist in business. Using his cunning, he had brought a great deal of important business to his law firm. Unfortunately, he did not practice the same strategic planning in his personal life. He preferred to "shoot from the hip". This "unconscious" shopping behavior resulted in Buyer's Remorse on more than one occasion in which Keith bought a relationship that didn't fit.
3. SHOP WHERE YOU REALLY WANT TO BUY. You get what you pay for, so if you want an upscale mate who earns a lot of money and enjoys the finer things in life, shop upscale: the best golf courses, clothing stores, country clubs, spas, restaurants, opera, theatre, symphony, art galleries, ski resorts.
If a burly blue collar stud is more your type, shop accordingly: bowling centers, country and western bars, shooting ranges, car races, rod and gun clubs, fishing spots, motorcycle or car clubs, RV/boat shows, rock concerts.
Don't expect to find Mr./Ms. Nordstrom at Walmart (although they do discount shop). And if you shop "off price" at bargain centers, you may get second, irregulars or damaged goods; i.e., people with multiple relationships, lots of baggage, unhealthy behaviors. Low grade romance, low rent rendezvous.
Patrice was a woman of means; a widow with some assets to her name. She was tired of meeting younger men who wanted to be taken care of, and was looking for someone her own age with similar assets. She went to a mixer at an upscale singles apartment complex where she met Tom, a stock broker who had been divorced about a year. They discovered many commonalities, including their personality types, communication styles and socio-economic backgrounds. They matched and mirrored each other really well. After about six months of dating, they got married.
Next time: Rules 5 & 6, "Recognizing Quality" and "Stretch Your Synapses"
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Jo Anna Philips, a popular author and speaker, does workshops and personal appearances including book signings, in Northern California and Nevada. She is a former member of Northern California Authors and Publishers.
Jo Anna was a columnist and feature writer who produced and hosted Nevada's first health TV show, Health and Healing, which aired on the Fox and ABC networks, and Out and About, a half-hour TV magazine. Her two radio shows, FYI and Business Briefs offered humorous commentaries and information.
Jo Anna is also a Certified Life Coach and Behavioral Therapist, who happens to have a passion for fashion, and of course, shopping. Her experience as a retail buyer for a major fashion chain convinced her to design and manufacture her own successful line of women's sportswear, GIOVANNA ACTIVEWEAR, in San Francisco.
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